I say it’s ridiculous because it doesn’t cook any better, nor does it last longer. Some of the cookware has a lifetime guarantee and I’m always puzzled by that claim. What does that mean?

And there are caveats to the guarantee. You have to use the cookware for the purposes for which it was intended.

I guess that means cooking rather than digging for iron ore. And I do suspect that in about ten years’ time you would have difficulty finding the manufacturer of said cookware to return it. They also want it to be posted and the cost of that postage would be prohibitive. That’s if you can unearth the receipt.

In other words, the cookware lasts for as long as it lasts and not any longer. Can’t argue with that existential concept.

If you read the fine print, you should expect the saucepan to show scratches. This will look bad but will not affect your cooking results. You can machine wash the cookware but it’s better not to because it may spoil its appearance.

Although the cookware has been tested in laboratories by a million jackhammers drilling the amazing bullet-proof surface of the pan, it is suggested that you stir your cooking with a plastic or wooden utensil.

All this in spite of a rather pretentious and misleading name like Swiss Diamond which gives the impression of a very resilient and indestructible surface. Not true. I know because I invested in the brand. I use the term “invested” since it cost a fortune.

I was informed at the time that Swiss Diamond never go on sale, but they were 40% discounted at some stores last week. So “Never” must mean the same as “Lifetime Guarantee.”

I’m also the gullible owner of some Circulon cookware. This one scratches, sticks and has grooves which are hard to clean. Ironically, there is a big ad campaign on TV at the moment praising this brand’s ease of use. I scoff somewhat bitterly at its claims.

Anolon was no better but I managed to return it because it warped. I was in one of those “I’m fed up and I’m not taking it any more” moods.

As for cast iron cookware, it’s good for casseroles, but who can lift the ruddy things? If you really want a physical workout try to pick up some Staub cookware. Now if you dropped that on the floor it would result in a crater and the Staub cookware would emerge in China.

The astute reader of this blog might have worked out that I’m fed up with falling for the hype. Cookware is cookware and you are better off buying a brand new pan every year at $29.95 as I have done recently and in ten years you will still be ahead financially. The pan will be lighter. You can machine wash it or not. If it scratches you don’t mourn the damage to its perfect surface.

And believe me, life’s too short to be fooled by promises of everlasting service or surface (as the case may be).

I wonder how long my new penny-wise attitude will last? Probably for as long those guarantees, I guess.

You then go back to your village in the West Bank and two weeks later you arrange an attack on Israelis. Three Israelis are ambushed. One who was about to be married is killed while the other two are wounded.

No doubt you think that you are a hero, but in reality you are the lowest of the low.

There is no honour in your actions. You, who are prepared to accept help from Israeli doctors and at the same time stab them in the back.

FOR SHAME!

Source for this article.

There was simply no staff around. We scrounged around the stock, of which there is also very little. We wandered up and down the menswear department in search of help. But there was none.

I suspect that if I picked up a few items and walked out with them I wouldn’t even be stopped. Unfortunately, there was nothing worth stealing. At one stage we were so busy rummaging through some items that a customer mistook us for staff and asked us for help.

We shook our heads in sympathy with the fellow sufferer. “Sorry, mate” we shouted in the wilderness. “You have to fend for yourself!” Not many people are keen to do that, however, so it’s not surprising that sales in department stores are down by 5.8% in the year to May.

So when the CEO of Myer, Bernie Brookes, announced in the Weekend Australian newspaper that Myer was going to increase its staff by 10% I was nonplussed. 10% of nothing is not very much, is it?

Nor are things much better in “David Jones” department stores, but at least the Melbourne city store had more stock to choose from. There was no service either. Nevertheless, we put in the effort, found an item ourselves and took it to the cashier.

Oh how I miss the old days when someone would greet you as you walked into a department store and ask if you needed any help. From what I can see the only place that has service in a department store is the cosmetics and perfume section and I suspect that’s because the cosmetics companies supply their own staff.

Shopping has become a very daunting experience. Even when you really, really, need to buy something, and you stand there looking desperate, you often go home without a catch. Oh well, you did try to give the economy a bit of stimulus, but if they ain’t doin’ the sellin’ you can’t do the buyin’.

Well, well, well, now that the spy saga in the U.S and Russia has come to light and spies have been returned to their state of origin, we discover that these spies held forged passports.

Dear me, they used Irish, British and Canadian false passports. So what’s the reaction of the world? Apparently, the rest of the world is amused. Joe Biden makes jokes on the Jay Leno Show. Not a whisper of outrage at the use of forged passports and spying that’s been going between two so-called friends.

It seems that it’s okay to forge identities and passports, but not if you are Israeli.

Talk about hypocrites!!!

For the usual reasons, I simply could not face Chadstone Mall again. It’s too much of a paradox for me. On one level it has delusions of grandeur with stores like Chanel and Tiffany’s and yet no decent place to have a bite.

If you are going to pretend to be grandiose, then why not have rest rooms that aren’t sopping wet? And why not provide paper hand towels instead of uncomfortable and ineffective hand dryers. Is Chadstone so hard up that it can’t afford them?

I have said in the past that the modern shopping mall replaces the ancient Greek Agora. It has become a social hub in which people meet, do some shopping and have a meal or go to the movies.

We have been in Melbourne now for almost two years and everyone I know tells me that Chadstone is horrible. Well, it’s not horrible, but it’s certainly uninviting.

We had discovered a mall in Doncaster which is great. Westfield know how to run a mall. They are far superior at building and operating malls than anyone else. Their business is customers and customers bring business. Simple as that.

The other day, however, we ventured forth and discovered Knox City. It’s an old shopping mall but has been maintained and renovated and expanded and it’s really pleasant. You can spend many hours exploring it and it has all the shops that Chadstone doesn’t have as well as the usual stores that one finds in malls today. It even includes the local library.

So well laid out, comfortable, with coffee shops everywhere and many food outlets. And what was most surprising, an entire outdoor area that reminded me of Pacific Fair and Harbour Town up in Queensland. The outdoor area was protected from the weather and the many restaurants were heated outside. This area is called the O-Zone and also houses the cinemas.

Unfortunately, we had no idea there was so much to Knox City so we had grabbed a bite to eat in the Food Hall which, by the way, was heaps better than Chadstone’s. There’s a choice of Greek food, Turkish food, Outback Aussie food, Thai food and even a Grill’d which is missing at Chadstone but present in Doncaster Mall.

I was so impressed that if I could afford it I would have bought the company. By the way, the company who owns it is AMP, the same company who runs Pacific Fair. I simply had to ask.

Last but not least the mall has plenty of parking which is a real bonus. It’s very frustrating looking for a parking spot at Chadstone. You may think that proves that Chadstone is popular but I’ve always maintained that people go there because it’s well situated rather than being a place you want to go to. It’s also the only one around the area.

Imagine what a boon it would be if the management at Chadstone actually cared about its customers!

Well, they didn’t care when I had my handbag stolen at a bead shop at Chadstone. I was left stranded. So if you go to Chadstone don’t expect any service. Just hold on to your handbag and bring a packed lunch in case you get hungry. And don’t forget the paper hand towels!

I got sick of charging the blasted thing. I got sick of having another gadget to be plugged in. I got sick of the brush telling me how long I have to brush my teeth and allotting to me the requisite two minutes which the gadget manufacturer said I have to do.

It made me feel as if I wasn’t in charge at all. Let’s face it, if you’re at the mercy of an electric toothbrush how autonomous are you?

There are people out there who bid their gadgets goodnight and then charge them ready for the next day’s onslaught.

All this dependency on electric gadgets has been getting on my nerves.

Which brings me to why my web site was down over the weekend. I use a web host as do a few other people and apparently a very selfish or ignorant company which monopolised all the available space on the host’s internet. This company was told not to do this again and I have been assured that said company will not be so greedy in future.

I wish I could believe it, but all sorts of things get screwed up on the internet. If it’s not the internet provider then it’s the connection somewhere on the line. Or else it’s because the rotten schoolkids are on holiday and they sit at their computers all day shooting demons or whatever or taking photos of their private parts and putting them on Youtube to impress the world.

Then there’s the twits or the twats and Facebook. I’m uncomfortable with all that and do not take part.

Nowadays, even the politicians twitter away, just to be with it. Do we really need more soundbites from the politicians? Still, even Julia Gillard has somebody twittering away for her. Some junior member of her staff with the gelled ridge of hair is doing the deed so that she can appear trendy.

I seriously doubt that her busy schedule allows her the time to twit. Not should it.

I would rather she concentrate on policies and leave the silly bits to some nerd who is already afflicted with a sore and arthritic thumb at the venerable age of 20.

You may well argue that I too have joined the ranks of internet afficionado since I have a web site. That’s not quite true, though. It’s a love/hate relationship that I have with my computer. I like the word processing part and I enjoy surfing the net for information.

But I am well aware of the dangers of the World Wide Web as a disseminator of falsehoods, a tool for propaganda more invasive than any newspaper by its speed and unaccountability.

I must confess I fear it.

On the other hand, I can’t think of anything in this world that is totally good. And so I endure the frustration of technology when I have to, while feebly protesting against it when it doesn’t really matter, as in the case of the electric toothbrush. T’is but a rather lukewarm attempt at aligning myself with the Luddites.

So there! I showed them, all right. lol

Chadstone has just had a multi-million dollar make-over. There are shops galore and the expensive brands have all been enticed there. But what is glaringly disappointing is that there are very few nice places to eat in the centre. Visit Westfield at Doncaster and you will sit in comfort and enjoy better quality dining in Thai, Indian, Italian restaurants, just to name a few. There is a designated eating section with muted lighting and a charming ambience.

By contrast, Chadstone provides the usual suspects, like Kebab shops, focaccia places and some Chinese counters which can be found in a couple of areas. One of these is a thoroughfare downstairs, in which shoppers and diners struggle to get through and get in one another’s way.

Where there is a “Food Hall” you will find McDonalds and other fast food outlets. Very little comfort is provided. It’s noisy and unpleasant and somehow clashes with the Chadstone pretension of being exclusive. You can slurp on a slurpie and then hang around Louis Vuitton, I guess. Yeah right…

This morning I phoned management at the Shopping Centre and had to try five times before finally getting through to a member of staff who told me that there are no plans for improving the facilities. So after all those millions to entice vendors, there was nothing left in the kitty for shoppers’ comfort.

Now that is very disappointing because this is a failure of the revamped Chadstone Shopping Centre. Its management doesn’t seem to realise that if you provide creature comforts for shoppers you will entice them to remain in your centre longer. And the longer they stay, the more likely they are to spend.

And why oh why is it impossible to enter the Woolworths Supermarket from inside the mall? Why does one have to go outside in all weather to go back inside? How silly is that? Now that is a failure of design!

We spent many hours in a wonderful mall in Texas some years ago. It was The Galleria in Dallas. We had coffee and then shopped. We had lunch and then shopped. We watched the ice skating on the ice skating rink and then had afternoon tea and then shopped some more.

Let’s face it, malls have become substitutes for the village square of old. People meet there and socialise and shop. It’s an outing.

Not long ago I had to inform the management at Chadstone that their automatic flush toilets were not working and the restrooms were a health hazard. Since then the automatic flushers have been replaced by workable button flushers. Most people would know how to flush a loo the reliable way.

I would love to go to Chadstone and not have to leave it to find a decent place to eat. I strongly urge the management at the Gandel Corporation to take a good look at the master of malls design, Westfield, and learn something.

It’s not good enough to be the biggest in the Southern Hemisphere which is Chadstone’s mantra at the moment. One should also make an effort to be the best service provider cause if shoppers ain’t happy then vendors ain’t happy either.

It pays to makes shoppers feel good.

Swan says he doesn’t want to speculate about the budget. Well, neither do we. We’d rather hear the facts than speculations but he’s not going to tell us anything until Budget Day.

I guess it’s because there’s nothing new to say except that things is grim but it’s not the Government’s fault. Whenever I hear that it’s not the Government’s fault I invariably begin to suspect that it may be. Methinks Swan and Rudd are protesting too much.

Now I don’t really believe that it is our Government’s fault per se, but it is the fault of people who did not monitor how business and lending and borrowing were carried out. I hope that in the future we may have some better system which will prevent the outrageous credit that was handed out to people who should not be borrowers at all since they weren’t in a position to repay the loan.

Of course, nothing is that simple and it is hard to tell people who want something that they have to save up for it, especially if banks are literally throwing money their way. How many of such borrowers would be able to refuse the credit on account of not being able to afford repayments?

We have to live with the debacle now, but I would like to hear some optimism from our Government. Sadly, there is very little of it. Even President Obama is more upbeat than our Government and yet we are supposed to be in a better position than the U.S.

I suspect that the reason for all this talk of misery is because we are about to receive another budget and since Rudd will not be able to deliver a rosy one he is paving the way for an “Oh I thought it would be worse than that” scenario. So we are fed tiny morsels of information cunningly leaked so that we should expect a horror budget.

This theatre of the absurd is nothing new. It always happens before a budget announcement, no matter which party is in government. The grim predictions usually turn out to be better than we were led to expect and so we are relieved or is that reprieved? Until the next budget, that is.

This whole routine is so predictable that it becomes annoying when someone like Wayne Swan says “I never speculate on what’s in the budget.” His use of the term “speculate” is totally wrong when he actually means to say is “to comment” or “to divulge”. There is absolutely no speculation about it. The main thrust of the budget has already been decided by Rudd and Swan

So why pretend? We can speculate all we want but it’s not going to make a bit of difference to the politician in the interviewing room because he knows all about it and he’s playing silly games with the interviewer and with his audience. Why doesn’t Swan say “It’s for me to know and you to find out. So there.” At least that would have a ring of authenticity in it.

In my view, there is only one serving politician who is worth listening to, and he is Lindsay Tanner, our Finance Minister. He really listens to the interviewer and actually answers questions, unlike the other politicians who just keep on repeating the same mantra that Rudd has prescribed. It is very frustrating for an audience to sit through repetition after repetition of a chanson du jour. And as we know the pet phrase at the moment is “I’m not going to speculate blah blah…”.

If they’ re not going to answer questions, then why bother interviewing serving politicians?

On the other hand, wouldn’t you think that this would be a good time for the Opposition to come up with some great ideas? Sadly, they aren’t talking either except to complain about the Government. Now according to the Opposition, the Government is spending too much money or not enough money. It is trying to stimulate the economy but is going about it the wrong way.

So how would the Opposition handle it? Well, they’re not telling and I’m beginning to suspect that they haven’t a clue. All they want to do is complain about the Government. As far as the Opposition is concerned, the people of Australia can just go jump, because the Opposition is more interested in getting elected than in saving our economy.

It’s a wasted opportunity to show that they really care about the recession and are willing to help in any way that they can. But that would require maturity and it’s easier to whinge than to do something constructive. What a shame that our political system is so adversarial!

Imagine if Malcolm Turnbull actually offered to help the Government. I think that we would be gobsmacked by his offer of bipartisanship. Of course, this won’t happen because the Opposition is there to oppose and by Jove it takes its mission seriously, even if the Government’s project is worthwhile.

I hoped that Turnbull would be different because he entered the arena as an outsider who liked to get things done. To have fallen so low from such an exalted position of possibilities has made him bitter and churlish and so he is no great threat to the incumbent. Since he’s no threat and he’s no help, then what is Turnbull achieving?

Buggered if I know, but this is politics and according to “Yes Minister” politics is all about supporting the status quo and avoiding “courageous deeds.” One must look as if one is doing something and that’s what counts and I would put interviews with politicians in that category as well.

Remember the Christian hostages who were captured by Arafat and his bunch of terrorists and who were kept in dark cells and threatened with death every day? Remember the dead bodies of two Israeli soldiers who were kidnapped by Hezbollah and who were returned in exchange for some of the worst convicted terrorists who ever sullied an Israeli jail?

What a contrast! But it’s not surprising when one is dealing with an uncivilised group like the Arab fanatics who have captured an Israeli soldier and who want to use him as a trade off for getting thousands of Hamas terrorists freed.

According to the ABC news website the government of Israel has finally lost all patience with Hamas and has decided to take away the privileges enjoyed by those prisoners because negotiations for the return of one single Israeli soldier have broken down.

So what are the Hamas prisoners threatening if they can’t get their MTV? A hunger strike, that’s what. I’m all for that. Bring it on!

Call me a sceptic, but I believe that Gideon Shalit, the Israeli soldier who was captured by Hamas three years ago, is dead. There is nothing left but his bones but even then the Israelis want him back to give him a proper burial.

Quite frankly, I would return the Hamas prisoners in the same condition as the two dead soldiers were returned.

I have heard that Wayne Carey who apparently can kick a football and a girlfriend has been put into the Hall of Fame. That’s Fame with an F not SH.

Two days ago some idiot “reformed” drug addict, who used to play football, almost brought our city to a standstill when he appeared in a football match. It was an anti-climax since he played badly, fell over, hurt himself and is now recuperating for the next month.

So now we will have to put up with progress reports on his health. He’s no example for our youth either, but all is forgiven if you play sport.

It’s not just the sportsmen who get off lightly when they commit a crime. I’ve already alluded to the aboriginal who sexually assaulted a four year old girl and got a suspended sentence.

Compare that leniency with the appropriate sentence given to a young couple in Germany who starved their baby daughter to death.

The couple were drug addicts and this is an important point because if they had been Australian the drug addiction would have been a mitigating circumstance as it often is with murderous drunk drivers. Had the couple been Australian sports stars then they would not have been sentenced at all. And had the couple been aboriginal then the do-gooders would have pleaded for understanding of their culture.

You see the law treats people differently even when it’s supposed to be blind and fair. I could add “deaf and dumb” to those attributes as well, but only for a price.