If you like scarves you may be interested in going to the National Wool Museum’s exhibition in Geelong. I love scarves so I went.

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It took a lot for The Age to finally dismiss columnist Catherine Deveny. She is vulgar and humourless, two qualities that usually guarantee popularity with Melburnians. They like them rough and puerile down here.

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The more that I observe President Obama the more I conclude that he does not understand the real world. He sucks up to the wrong nations while taking for granted his genuine allies. I cannot erase from my mind the image of Obama bending over for the Saudi King. How subordinate and Uncle Tom is that?

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The education writer at The Australian newspaper has revealed that Victorian teachers will have to prepare their pupils for the Naplan test. Shock horror!!!

The purpose of the National Assessment Program or Naplan is to test the numeracy and literacy of school pupils at various stages in their downward slide towards graduation from school. The Teachers Union is against the publication of the results of these tests for obvious reasons. Here, in Australia, the Education Union does not like being accountable to anyone for its method and “efficiency” in teaching.

So the latest ploy is to reveal to the media that teachers have been told to prepare their pupils for these tests. Which apparently is a scandal! It means that teachers will have to teach spelling, reading and punctuation, counting without a calculator and all that useless stuff. They will be asked to provide extra teaching for those pupils who are having difficulties with spelling and numeracy. What an imposition!

This is all too much for the poor Teachers Union. I actually doubt that some teachers even know how to spell and count and they certainly wouldn’t know how to teach language and syntax. After all, we got rid of all that silly business years ago when grammar became a dirty word.

Next, they will be asking teachers to actually teach and I have to admit that being an ex-high-school teacher myself who has seen many teachers in action, and I mean inaction, this is a big ask.

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Prince William sat back in his plush chair and thought about doing a good deed for the homeless. He could invite them into the Palace but people like that would feel most uncomfortable away from their milieu. A fish out of water and all that sort of thing. One wouldn’t want to embarrass them in strange surroundings. Besides, Granny may not approve since she’s counting the pennies after that infernal fire at Windsor Castle.

William is a caring lad, though, and felt he should do something for the poor at Christmas. Since the homeless could not join him, why not join them for a night? Sleep under the stars and all that. How bad could it be? He would wear his thermals under the casual ensemble selected by his P.A. And it’s not as if he would be in any danger. Not with security discreetly disguised as forlorn hobos as well. Then there would be the cameras and the other media. Quite the entourage.

Granny sprayed him with some homeopathic disinfectant which his father had grown organically. And then the Royals bid him good night for his camping out adventure. William learned a lot on that one night, he told the press, although he did concede that he can only imagine how the homeless truly feel. Really, William?

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This week we received a Christmas greeting from our weekend newspaper delivery guy. We didn’t even know we had a weekend delivery guy until he left an empty envelope beside our newspaper with a bit of paper attached to the outside of the envelope wishing us all the best for Xmas.

It took us a couple of bemused minutes to work out why the empty envelope. Apparently, we were supposed to fill it with a bit of green Christmas cheer. 0/10 for finesse…

This reminded me of what used to happen to us when we first arrived in Australia in the Fifties. During the week before Xmas the garbage collectors or “garbos” as they are known in Oz would wake up the entire neighbourhood with their hootin’ and a hollerin’ at daybreak. The first time this happened we asked our neighbour what it was all about. She said it was to remind us that Xmas is coming and we should leave some cans of beer on the footpath for the garbos. We had to do it or else our garbage would be strewn all over the road… “an offer we couldn’t refuse.”

It was a kind of traditional protection racket and if you questioned its ethics, then you weren’t a good sport. This was then and this is now. That sort of pollution would be frowned on today and I hadn’t thought of it in years until our newspaper delivery guy reminded me of the good old days. lol

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Went to my “Women who have not slept with Tiger Woods or Bill Clinton” meeting this week and it was pretty lonely there. Just a couple of us, really. And it’s not as if we hadn’t been approached by either of the gentlemen. The other member of our club was a golf pro who had offered to caddy for Tiger but that’s as far as she was prepared to go.

As for me, I really didn’t want to come between a man and his wife. Call me old-fashioned, but I was primarily thinking of my own marriage. It isn’t easy being married and I wasn’t prepared to risk it all just for the glory of being another bimbo who fell for a celebrity.

Which brings me to the sad truth of it all. If it weren’t for the fact that Tiger and Old Bill are famous men, would anyone, including their wives, give them the time of day? There is an old Jewish saying that a rich man is handsome, has a great personality and sings well too.

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You have to laugh. Hamas has just announced that it has come to an agreement with militant groups in Gaza to stop firing rockets into Israel. The reason for this, and this is the punchline, is to stop retaliation by Israel. Get it? If we don’t attack Israel in the first place then it won’t hit us back. What an epiphany!!!

Isn’t that what Israel has been saying all the time? It has to defend its people from rocket attacks from Gaza.

The only reason that Israel has ever retaliated is when the Palestinians and their supporters have attacked Israel. If they stop that then perhaps peace will have a chance. Will they stop attacking Israel? Not bloody likely cause attacking Israel is their only reason for existing.

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I am very familiar with the Chadstone Shopping Centre because it is the closest mall to my home. If I had my wish, however, it would be replaced by the Westfield one from Doncaster.

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I applaud the New Zealand government for refusing to allow some of the Tamil blackmailers on the Oceanic Viking to resettle in New Zealand. Prime Minister Rudd has been told that New Zealand doesn’t approve of queue-jumpers, nor does it want to be viewed as an easy destination by people-smugglers and their customers.

So our “tough but compassionate” Prime Minister is hunting high and low for another country to accept the Tamils. A possible destination is the Philippines, but I doubt that the Tamils will agree to disembark in that country. They are demanding to be sent to Australia and won’t settle for anything else.

That certainly does not sound as if the Tamils’ only motivation for leaving Sri Lanka was to save their skins.

If Rudd capitulates and brings the blackmailers to Christmas Island then that will be regarded as a failure of his refugee policy. Anyhow, if he criticised the previous Australian government’s handling of boat people and smugglers which was called the Pacific Solution, why is he scouting the Pacific nations in the hope of relieving himself of these queue-jumpers?

Surely there is not much difference between Rudd’s Pacific Odyssey and John Howard’s Pacific Solution except that Howard’s one worked as a deterrent while Rudd’s is an embarrassment. Meanwhile we wait to see what bright idea Rudd can come up with to remove the egg on his face.

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